June 5, 2013

Half way mark until I leave spirit prison!!!! I'm sort of excited:)

 

But hola mi mama! Espero tu estas bien:) I got your package, thank you for the banana bread and my shirts, I loved the pictures and josh's emails, I've been showing everyone I know because I love them so much! but my sweater used to be in my white laundry basket before I left, so I don't know where it would've been, but actually, you can just send it to me this winter, I don't need it now:)

 

So I've been getting allergies super bad and I don't sleep at night because I can't breathe and I wake up feeling awful and I sound like a man. Those allergy pills work, but they just don't last 24 hours. I'm going to go to the health clinic today to see if I can take one morning and evening. Because not being able to sleep and then having to study and focus and work as hard as we do is not fun especially mixed with my perfectionism and determination to do everything and do it right. This week has been awful. I fall asleep in class and I'm just dead all day. I feel like a zombie. Yesterday I just broke down. I guess Elder Stoor, our district leader, noticed and told the Branch President because last night he took me out of class and interviewed me. So I told him about not being able to sleep and then how I get frustrated when I don't meet my list of expectations for myself and he gave me some interesting advice. Well my first assignments are to go to the health clinic and schedule an appointment, second, find some time to fit in a 2-3 hour nap (which is going to be so hard to do because I literally have no time, but he said that I should skip class because it's that important) and then he helped me understand my perfectionist problems a little more. First we talked a little about the difference between being stubborn and steadfast. Stubborn has more to do with pride and when you're stubborn you're looking at yourself, whereas steadfast is looking at the savior. So when you're a perfectionist you're looking at yourself whereas if you're perfect, or trying to be perfect, you're looking at the Savoir. So he told me to every night lay all my burdens and my list of expectations at the feet of the Lord and then the next morning, just ask what is one thing the Lord wants me to do that day and do it. He knows I'll never be able to speak perfect spanish in 6 weeks and I won't be able to teach perfectly ever now I just need to let that go and accept that and with the Lord's help I can be an instrument in his hands.

 

But anyways, this week I've been studying the fall and the reason God gave adam and eve two conflicting commandments. I took the question to the temple and then after I read a bunch of talks and scriptures and I think I figured out the answer. So God gave Adam and Eve the commandments in a certain order, in order of most importance. First to multiply and replenish the Earth and second, not to partake of the fruit. The Lord wanted to place them in a situation where they would have to use their agency and choose what they wanted to do. It was important for them to fall to start the plan of salvation, but God could not force them to do it, they had to choose for themselves. I forgot my study journal in the classroom, so I don't have the scripture references with me, I'll try and send those next week as well as some quotes I found, but It makes sense to me now. The plan had to start somehow, but it couldn't without the fall, but the fall couldn't happen unless Adam and Eve chose it, and Adam and Eve couldn't choose it if they had no agency. But I thought it was interesting.

 

We have two investigators that we're working with. Mario (Hermano Day) has a wife and three kids but is super skeptical of our church because he has been to a lot of churches and hates how hypocritical and prideful they are. He said he'd come to church with us on sunday and I think he's starting to feel the truth through the spirit. Pablo (Hermano Evans) on the other hand has accepted our invitation to be baptized and we have set his date to the 16 of June. (Our investigators are just our teachers pretending to be one of their investigators from their missions). It's really helpful to teach like this, because It's like what we're going to be doing in the field. Except we'll have a senior companion that really does speak spanish and it'll be a lot easier to teach with them because if I need help, she can help me. Spanish is still coming, I still sound like a Gringa though. The native speakers help us with our pronunciation. Was Reggie spanish or english? Because we got tight with a native elder going to Lubbock and I told him to look for an Elder Reggie Walbeck.

 

Just so you know that I really am learning spanish here is my testimony in español.

 

Yo sé que Jesucristo y la Expiación puede ayduarme en mi vida con mis pecados, afliciónes, dolor y pesar. Yo sé que  Jose Smith fue un profta verdadero de Dios y que tradujó el Libro de Mormón por medio del poder de Dios. Yo testifico que  la iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Ulitmos Días es verdadera y este Evangelio ha cambiado mi vida por la mejor. Amo a Dios y Jesucristo y predicaré su palabra toda mi vida. No terminaré hasta Dios decide tomarme de este mundo. Este es mi gozo. En el nombre de el Hijo de Dios, mi salvador y redentor, Jesucristo, Amen.

 

Just google translate it or something;)

 

But I love you so much! I got dad's two letters and arron's letter, I'll be writing them back today because it's P-DAY!! best day of the week:) it's seriously like a holiday around here. But I'll talk to you next week! Love you:)

 

Con Amor,

Hermana Wilcox