May 29, 2013

We didn't get mail for three days and I thought I was going to die! saturday and sunday we don't get mail, even dear elders, and then monday was a holiday, so we were all dying to get mail. It's nice practice for the field when I won't get mail everyday. But I'm so proud of you for picking up the baby!! I'm glad to know that she has a friend now that I'm gone!! I can die peacefully now;) I'm sorry about aaron's birthday, but if I got a nano I'd be happy;) in fact if you can find one on ksl for pretty cheap like on ksl, I would love one for either my birthday or christmas. I'm not allowed to listed to music at the MTC, and basically any other happiness is banned too. But I need to figure out what President Alba's rules are against music. Yeah, we never did spring ball, that's interesting that they're doing that this year. I bet they're stressed, end of the year testing was always hard for me too. It's a stressful time. I bet it was fun to see everyone! When I get home, let's go visit them please!! I saw Julian again yesterday. We talked a little in spanish, but it was hard, I could understand everything he was saying, but I couldn't respond back in spanish because my mind doesn't think that fast, but it was cool, I can't wait to see them all again and speak to them in spanish, it'll be so cool!! We're super good friends with some of the native speakers on our floor, they come over and help us with our spanish, I made friends with an elder from colombia he was kind of hard to understand though, he spoke super fast. I have the first vision, my purpose as a missionary and the invite to be baptized memorized all in spanish. It's pretty cool.

I will always respond to dad's letters. It just might not be as fast as the last time. Basically here is my schedule...wake up at 6:00, study at 7:00, breakfast at 8:30, gym at 9:10, class at 10:30, lunch at 1:30, class at 2:15, language study at 5:15, dinner at 6:30, TALL at 7:15, study at 8:15, planning at 9:00, go home at 9:30, bed at 10:30. and then repeat, with minimal changes. It's super monotonous and sometimes I don't know if I'll make it. But I always do. I'm already super sick of the food so I've ended up eating a vegetable wrap every lunch and a salad for dinner. Every morning I have an asiago cheese bagel with cream cheese, that's the best though. And we can't eat in the classroom or even the building we have class in so I can't eat the food you sent me. I'd eat it for lunch and dinner, but I forget to pack because every morning I'm rushing to be on time to personal study because they literally give us no time to get ready. some days I wake up at like 5:30 to be on time.

This week has been the hardest week, probably of my life. There are days where I seriously consider coming home. It's all I can do to not break down and cry. I've been praying so hard to have the Lord help me through this. I don't even know what it is that is so hard! I think it's mostly that I get frustrated when I can't express myself in spanish during a lesson and I expect so much more out of myself and I am such a perfectionist and when I can't get it, it makes me mad. So I've been praying and the lord gave me his answer during one of the devotionals we had on sunday. Stephen B Allen came to speak to us and he got up and told us that he had a lesson prepared but the spirit told him that that wasn't what he was supposed to talk about. So he got up there and everything he said was through the spirit. He talked about how hard the MTC is and just how hard life in general was. He told us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not unto our own understanding and the Lord will guide us. And that it's during the hard times when the veil gets the thinnest, when we can draw closer to God. Then he applied the song Come Come ye saints to a mission. That was exactly what I needed. "Come come ye saints, no toil nor labor fear, but with Joy wend your way, though hard to you this journey may appear, grace shall be as your day...And soon we'll have this tale to tell, all is well, all is well." I cannot fear the toil or the labor, and even though this journey appears so hard right now, I have the grace of god and his infinite atonement on my side. And soon I'll have this tale to tell, all was well, all was well. It blew my mind, the lord works in mysterious ways.

During personal study I was reading Nephi's vision in chapter 13. That was so cool!! It's about the great apostacy and how Columbus found the Americas and the revolutionary war, it talks about the bible and the coming forth of the book of mormon. Read it when you get a chance. Also I was reading in Alma 5:38. It's all about baptism. The shepard will call us by the name of christ at the last days and those who will not hearken are not of his sheep. I was thinking about reasons why people wouldn't hearken to the call. A reason I came up with is that when someone calls you by a name that's not yours you're not going to respond right? so when we get baptized, we take the name of christ upon us, those who are not baptized, do not take is name. So when He calls us, by the name of christ, only those who were baptized will respond. Which makes sense because no one can enter the kingdom of heaven without being baptized. That's my job, to bring people to christ so they can hear the call and be part of the fold.

  

Con Amor,

Hermana Wilcox